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Start Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus
Dr. Lazarus is one of the True Prophets and one who has Received direct Communications from the Ethereal Host.

Over his impressive career, he has started several cults, and seen at least two through completion and Removal to other Planes of Existance.

Dr. Lazarus brings his unique pragmatic approach to help You, the beginning cult leader, make His vision a reality. Dr. Lazarus has graciously provided You with the following Transcriptions of Enlightenment that should help get You started on your Divine Quest.
Top 15 Signs Your Webmaster Is In A Cult PDF Print E-mail
Written by Dr. Emeril Lazarus   

15. Every link seems to take you to www.amway.com.

14. Repetition of same banner ads: Stoli, Mott's... Stoli, Mott's...

13. He brings twenty-three wives to the office Holiday Party.

12. Instead of counting up visitors, your site counts down days to the apocalypse.

11. Suddenly your travel agency's site is featuring interplanetary excursions for comet watching and one-way tickets to Guyana.

10. His home page says "Best viewed from the Mothership."

9. Your website's "Hall of Fame" inductees required to do stint handing out flowers at airport.

8. Your website is honored as the David Koresh Fan Club's "Site of the Day."

7. She has 38 roommates, yet is oddly stress-free.

6. Insists that Sabbath actually begins when "X-files" ends.

5. Frequently mutters about the "Prophet Steve Jobs" returning to rescue the true believers.

4. Not only does he understand Unix, he *IS* one.

3. Big "N" on your browser replaced by spinning head of Charles Manson.

2. He only answers to the name, "Doe-bert."

and the Number 1 Sign Your Webmaster is in a Cult...

1. Ugly clothes; insufficient diet; lack of sleep; goofy haircut; lives in a mansion; has many followe... Hey, wait a minute! That's Bill Gates!!

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