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Starting
Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus
You were chosen to
lead your people to a better place--but where exactly is it?
This is not an easy
choice to make and requires not only inspiration but careful thinking.
Traditionally, those of us who have been Graced with Selection by God
to implement His Plan for the world have gone to Jerusalem or tried to
create a 'New' Jerusalem in some handy locale, either where they were,
or in a remote spot untainted with the profane and evil worldliness that
surrounds us.
In contrast, some
other leaders have had the audacity to suggest that this world is good
enough, that heaven and spiritual completeness reside inside the human
mind and soul. Don't believe them! They have been seduced by the Devil,
and will lead their followers to error, and ultimately to the cold terrors
of Hell.
As one of
the spiritually pure, a Lamb of God, you will undoubtedly know that eventually
your flock will want a reward for their sacrifices, their trials and tribulations--someplace
where they will reap the benefits of all the humility and hard work they
have done for you, their prophet.
You will want to help
them achieve this earnest goal of course. After all, as the recipient
of God's Vision and Plan, it is your duty to help Your Flock, as well
as all Humanity, towards Salvation.
There are places outside
of this planetary sphere you can lead Your Chosen People to, but we'll
cover those in a later article. Let's look at establishing a heavenly
community here on Earth.
The obvious place
would be to re-establish the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth in Jerusalem--the
Holy City--but there are a number of obstacles to doing this.
Language difficulties,
as well as an unfortunate intolerance of people camping around the Temple
of the Rock or setting up shop next to the Wailing Wall will stymie your
efforts. The enormous numbers of competing cults and even recognized religious
groups will also hinder you, as well as the atrocious price of decent
real estate.
Also remember that
if you are actually planning to move your base of operations you will
be cutting yourself off from all your local sources of revenue, as well
as new recruits.
I would recommend
that if God has told you to wait for Him in Jerusalem to only set up a
small apartment or perhaps even only a Post Office Box with a forwarding
address. When He comes He can still reach you, but you won't have to spend
a fortune in set-up costs.
It's entirely possible
that God wants you to set up a 'New' Jerusalem, another City of God for
these End of Days, right where you are. These cases are especially dangerous
because it's hard to justify to Your People why you aren't building it
Right Now.
Remember, your flock
will be going to the Promised Land, but not right now. Right now they
have to Spread the Word, Pray,and collect precious resources for you and
your cause.
In my opinion,
a good location on Earth for the New Jerusalem is in a remote jungle somewhere
in Central or South America. It's far enough away that it can't be reached
soon, but it can still be planned for and dreamed about. Progress reports
can be issued on a monthly or annual basis, and set-backs duly noted and
digested by your loving flock.
Having a
proper vision of where Heaven on Earth will be set up is essential for
maintaining morale and providing a clear goal to work towards for your
members. Chosen well you should be able to milk it for years.
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